Saturday,
31st of August 2024
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Torsang Cottage

Time moves slow right now. August moved along like a wooden boat on the river, making no noise, simply floating by. I remember greeting a full moon with stars, the apples starting to turn red and the wild, wild thunder and lightning raging on the other side of the river. Plucking the last raspberries and hops for drying, finishing projects and chapters. Turning the potato soil and leaving the leaves for next years crop. The rustle of trees through the open window and crickets in the evening chill. Flocks of birds flying south. Saying goodbye and see you next year. Tomorrow the autumn block starts and oh how I've waited.

Still, somber, graceful august what a mirror you've been.

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(3)
Monday,
19th of August
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Torsang Cottage

That hunger of self love. The interplay and gradient between acceptance and gently slanted growth, of forgiveness and ownership. Of opening ourselves to others and asking for patience; giving patience to those who openly affirm their ownership and inclination towards becoming themselves - who openly forgive themselves and accept where they are. To love ourselves in growth, in the metamorphosis, in the unfinished.


I've been very inspired by Shawn Mendez lately. As an artist & musician his work hasn't moved me before, but suddenly he has appeared to me and I felt something in this new material I enjoy very much.

There's a natural exuding sensibility in it, and the visuals are incredible to me. (Cinematography by Anthony Wilson) And his lyrics, melodies and where he seems to be touches something in me!
I feel a similarity that I can relate to. For me it was a choice to show up for myself and own the results of my own actions. To dare to look at it because when you do there is no ignoring it anymore. To walk it until you arrive at the other side and if my arrival looks anything like his I am grateful. He just seems happy, and it's the simple details which show it.

I listened to his interview with Zane Lowe, and I liked it.



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(2)
Monday,
28th of July
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Torsang Cottage

We all grow.

A little, a lot. Sideways and forth. I certainly have, and some might even consider it to a fault. Manically and excessively forcing it until the growth pains ache overwhelmingly. But when there's a longing and a thrusting notion of this isn't it I haven't been able to derail for long; when I have the perculating notion of wavering and detouring have taken over. There's something wiser and older speaking from within guiding the very motion towards that which will feel serene. Fluent even.

All that is forced has to go, and when I let it I'll find peace. I wrote this when I was 21 just days after a life-changing event, and as the wheel of time turns us in a spiral it guides us to retravel paths we've walked before. And in doing so I've learnt that I had to choose back then between the direct reality and living out my youth. And I feel now how I didn't get to fulfill her dreams.

And she is calling now to have those things fulfilled; to get to be youthful, be inspired and learn about herself, not through the lists written by doctors but through trying out her ideas and learning from her mistakes. She didn't want to learn about herself through overstepping health boundaries, but through starting something and seeing it through.

There's a longing in me to fulfill her dreams. To listen to what she has to say and let her be seen and heard. Let her love the things she loves and let that be it.

(1)